How to communicate what you want to your entertainment

Most couples give their entertainment far too much of one kind of information and almost none of another.

The kind they over-supply is songs. Long lists, carefully assembled, often over weeks. The kind they under-supply is everything that would tell somebody how to use those songs.

Five things worth more than a playlist.

Who is coming. Not just a number. The shape of the room. How many people over sixty, whether there is a group who will dance regardless, whether two families are meeting for the first time, whether anybody is travelling a long way to be there.

What you do not want. A do-not-play list is the single most useful document you can produce, and it takes ten minutes. It defines the edges, and it means nobody has to guess at your taste under pressure.

The moments that matter to you. Not the traditional list. The actual ones. If your grandmother dancing matters more than your first dance, say so, because those are different nights and only one of them can be optimised for.

What you are worried about. Every couple has a worry. Nobody will dance. My family and their family will not mix. It will feel stiff. Saying it out loud lets somebody design against it. Not saying it means they are solving a problem they have not been told about.

Who decides on the night. When something needs a call at 10:40pm and you are unreachable because you are being hugged, who makes it. Name that person. It is usually not the couple and it should not be left undecided.

What to skip. A minute-by-minute timeline you built yourself. Your entertainer has run more of these than you have and will spot the places where it will not survive contact with a real room. Bring the shape and let them bring the sequencing.

The couples who get the best nights are not the ones who plan hardest. They are the ones who supply the right information and then get out of the way.